It is usual for people who have not yet lost their virginity to feel fear in the expectation that it will be painful. In many cases that fear comes from the same anecdotes that heard from friends or known people who say that their own first experience was unpleasant and painful or is an uncomfortable step that must take before the beginning of sexual enjoyment.
But the truth is that a woman’s first coital experience should not be unpleasant and much less painful. Even on the occasions when some pain felt, it is usually little and temporary.
The coital pain in these cases usually occurs due to three primary factors: anxiety, lack of adequate sexual arousal and rupture of the hymen. Anxiety can exist due to several reasons: fear of becoming pregnant -if reliable contraception is not used-, discomfort due to feeling inexperienced with respect to sexuality, feelings of guilt in the case of being in a premarital relationship and that this is set apart by their values and/or religious or moral beliefs, fear of contracting a sexually transmitted disease, etc.
The best way to avoid anxiety is by being well informed about it. Talk about different topics related to sexuality before trying to integrate into it actively. Be sure to have reliable protection methods at hand, to define well what are the expectations that each one has of both the relationship and sex, educate yourself well about sexual pleasure, ask questions, relax, laugh and do not take it
everything so terrific.
Otherwise, anxiety will not let them feel completely relaxed and at ease, which can lead to pain when certain movements occur during the first penetration.
Once anxiety exists, whatever its origin, it is very common for it to be exhibited physically through poor sexual arousal. Remember that for the body to react favorably, it is necessary that our minds want to allow it first. Excitement and mental relaxation should always exist so that relaxation and physical arousal also appear.
Many times we see situations in which women who do not have any purely physical problem react in a physically adverse way because of their mental blocks.
A clear manifestation that occurs as a result of anxiety is the lack of sufficient lubrication to facilitate vaginal penetration.
Therefore, both you and your girlfriend should concentrate on feeling comfortable and focus on the pleasurable sensations that generated in the body with the kisses and caresses they share in the previous game. Under no circumstances should you press it to advance to a penetration. Let her tell you when she feels ready to perform the coital act.
It is also a good idea to have an artificial lubricant on hand, in case she can not lubricate enough. The vaginal opening should be fairly wet to ensure penetration occurs as easily as possible.
The hymen issue can be an essential factor, as it may not be. Many women arrive at their first coital experience with their previously broken hymens. It may have happened due to some previous trauma in the area, such as a blow or rigorous exercises. For those who keep their hymen intact at the time of their first coital experience, this will also not endure pain. Some hymens are very thin and break easily, and little pain; others are very elastic, and others are thick and can cause sharp pain, but that happens soon. If you reach the penetration feeling relaxation, excitement and good lubrication should not encounter major setbacks, regardless of the integrity or characteristics of the hymen.